Funeral delayed: tiaras, white outfits, turquoise face masks
When the time finally came, they laid Joanne Paylor to rest the finest way they could during a pandemic. A church service was out. The viewing had to be socially distanced. Golden chairs for the outdoor memorial service were carefully spaced apart.
Still, the spirit of “Mama Joe” – who, at the age of 62, had plans to return to college in the fall to get a master’s degree -- infused it all.
Many women wore tiaras, and men sported crisp white suits. There were turquoise face masks reading “Joanne.” And the voice of Joanne herself echoed over the loudspeakers: “I love y’all,” a remnant of a voicemail she once left her son.
The coronavirus pandemic is delaying funerals and forcing changes to families’ plans for memorializing their loved ones. For the Paylor family this has hit close to home.
Wearing sashes and tiaras, the Kings and Queens of Models Inc., are reflected in a horse drawn hearse from Compassion and Serenity Funeral Home as they pay their respects to Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, during her funeral in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Iran “Bang” Paylor and his mother were closer than close. Of her four children, he was the only son, and they shared a special bond.
“My mother was a very giving, generous person. She believed in great strides for the African American community — single mothers in particular,” Iran said.
The first person in her family to attend college, “she believed in education, that it could break down barriers and help you achieve all your dreams,” he said. She wanted to start a fund for single mothers over 30 to return to college, just as she had done.
When his mother died at home in southwest Washington on March 8 of what appears to have been a heart attack, her family planned a funeral for March 21. And then, Iran said, “the coronavirus came in like a storm.”
“I had heard about it being in China, and China is so far I paid that no attention,” he said. “But the first time I heard about it affecting daily life is when they called me and canceled the funeral.”
Iran "Bang" Paylor, of Washington, left, is comforted as he mourns his mother during her viewing at the chapel at Cedar Hill Cemetery, in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Iran "Bang" Paylor, of Washington, clasps hands with two of his sisters as they walk in front of a horse drawn hearse in mourning for their mother, Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, during her funeral in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
A March 20 district prohibition on mass gatherings had made the large church service impossible, one day before it was planned. Iran thought the family could just wait it out, but then the district issued a stay-at-home order, effective April 1.
“My mother was active in community outreach for 20 years. We wanted a big funeral. I would have expected 300 people,” he said.
Preachers said they were unable to deliver the sermon. Singers and praise dancers canceled. All event spaces closed. People were scared to attend, despite promises of social distancing and an outdoor ceremony.
Then the stay-at-home order was extended — and extended again, through May 15.
Through it all, Joanne’s body remained at a funeral home, her family hoping against hope that they could go back to the original plan — a large ceremony, in her community church, grieving together with family and hundreds of friends.
With Mother’s Day approaching, the funeral home indicated it was time to lay her to rest. Iran wanted the family to be able to visit his mother at her grave, a mausoleum he had built especially for her, the start of a new family plot.
He wanted to be able to sit on a granite bench at his mother’s graveside and pay his respects — a bench that can’t even be ordered now because the factory in China is shuttered.
Family including Iran "Bang" Paylor, of Washington, far left, carry the casket of Paylor's mother, Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, to a horse drawn hearse during her funeral at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
On Sunday May 3, they finally said goodbye to Joanne, who leaves behind 10 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. A horse-drawn hearse brought her to the cemetery for her interment.
Condolence letters were sent by D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser and the president of Joanne’s alma mater, Trinity Washington University. For the indoor viewing, people cycled in, 10 people at a time, careful to stay six feet apart.
At the door of the chapel at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Maryland, stood Iran and his three sisters. Women from Models Inc., the community organization founded by Iran and supported by his mother, wore glittering tiaras.
Golden chairs were set up outside for the memorial service, spaced apart. Some people stood, six feet from one another across the lawn of the cemetery, dressed to the nines -- all in white, to symbolize an angel.
His mother would have loved it, Iran said. Joanne always was very fashion-forward.
In her honor, the family has founded the Joanne Paylor Women of Excellence Scholarship Award at Trinity Washington University.
Iran "Bang" Paylor, center, of Washington, walks with family including his sisters LaShawn Paylor, center left, Sade Paylor, and Colletta Paylor, in front of the horse drawn hearse carrying the casket of their mother, Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, to her interment at Lincoln Memorial Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Models Inc. Queens including Jewel Parker, left, and Goldie Demetria, center, with Cougar Francis, a Models Inc. King, at right, adjust their sashes and tiaras as they arrive for the viewing of Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
The family of Joanne Paylor, 62, of Washington, walks through Lincoln Memorial Cemetery for her interment ceremony, in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. From right are her children, Colletta Paylor, Iran "Bang" Paylor, and LaShawn Paylor, followed by several of her grandchildren. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Colletta Paylor mourns her mother, Joanne Paylor, 62, of Washington, during her funeral at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
As a masked string quartet plays, Compassion and Serenity Funeral Home Administrator Dani Skinner, center, is present to assist mourners at the viewing of Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, during her funeral in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
With restrictions on the amount of people who may go into the viewing at a time, eight of the grandchildren of Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, prepare to go into the chapel in one group during her funeral at Cedar Hill Cemetery, Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Commemorative fans and wrist bands are joined by face masks in honor of Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, during her funeral at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Amora, a grandchild of Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, holds a fan with her grandmother's image on it during her outdoor memorial service at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Sasha Kayla, a Queen with Models Inc., wears a sash, tiara, and face mask that says "essential" as she attends the memorial service for Joanne Paylor, 62, of southwest Washington, at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
As dancers EbonyTye Hamilton and Samaree Lawson perform, the family of Joanne Paylor, 62, of Washington, mourns their loss, at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020, during a socially distanced outdoor memorial service. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Surrounded by masked mourners in precaution of the coronavirus, Iran "Bang" Paylor, of Washington, is comforted during the interment service of his mother, Joanne Paylor, 62, of Washington, at Lincoln Memorial Cemetery, in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Mourners attend a socially distanced outdoor memorial service for Joanne Paylor, 62, of Washington, during her funeral at Cedar Hill Cemetery, Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Grandchildren of Joanne Paylor, of southwest Washington, react to doves as they are released by Compassion and Serenity Funeral Home Administrator Dani Skinner, during the interment ceremony for Paylor at Lincoln Memorial Cemetery in Suitland-Silver Hill, Md., May 3, 2020. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
Text from AP News Funeral delayed: tiaras, white outfits, turquoise face masks by Jacquelyn Martin.